I’m not mad, I’m just Laughing because the Calm app tells me I’ve had zero mindful days / wondering if aliens had tracksuit eras of if they just skipped by the whole look / Googling the voice actors from Hey Arnold to see what they’re up to now / tracing my bloodline to find royalty or a claim to a stately home in the vain hope it’ll get me out of having to go to work / confused at how the US military lost an $80million fighter jet after the pilot ejected and it took itself on a joyride for a while before crashing back down to earth / trying to decide if anyone actually notices when I pull an Irish goodbye / attempting to understand mortgage rates so I’ll be able to know what people are talking about when it comes up / putting my life on Vinted so I can make room for my next life / debating whether it’s too pedantic to get out of bed to unplug the toaster to save a few pennies because I’m worried I won’t be able to afford the electric bill this month / on the phone to my mom telling her not to worry / figuring out if I am okay to start letting go of the hubris of my own vanity and slip into middle age as if youth is so forgettable / talking myself down of the ledge again / cursing my luck / convincing myself that I’m not a ghost / practicing sounding like everything is okay and doing one thing a day to prove it.