O God, thanks for the wonderful life I'm leading without you. We broke up with acrimony but the problem wasn't us. Self-appointed middlemen complicated our relationship – tap water/bottled water – so let's slow clap them when they profess to be you. Luckily there’s usually something that gives them away, like the ‘infallible’ bit trying to corner markets by claiming sole agency. You and me? We'll be alright if we bump into each other along a footpath or beach, deep in some wilderness or cafe. Now that nobody is blocking my view, I can hardly tell us apart.
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